


BADLANDS

by kordelicious



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: Abuse, F/F, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-25 01:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12025572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kordelicious/pseuds/kordelicious
Summary: Lauren is 17 years old when she gets enough of her neglectful mother and decides to run away. It isn't safe for a young teenage girl on the road, but luckily she finds a couple of companions to help her on her adventure.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone :) x I'm back with a multi-chaptered story. It isn't going to be a long one, probably around 10 chapters. It's going to get darker in later chapters, so keep that in mind. I will add trigger warnings before the chapters. Hope you enjoy

Badlands

 

1\. One

There’s a few things in this world that can make Lauren Jauregui’s skin crawls as much as the sounds of the headboard of a bed banging against the wall. Scratch that, there’s _nothing_ worse, she thinks as she hears the familiar sound of her mother moaning and screaming like a dog in heat.

She’s disgusted and she rushes to get her headphones on, blasting a Halsey song on full volume to drown out what’s going on in her mother’s room. She thought they were past this, but shame on her for needlessly getting her hopes up when she knows her mother all too well. Of course, it wouldn’t take her mother a day to find another deadbeat bum to warm her bed and stomp on her already non-existent self-esteem.

Lauren wonders if her mother always hated herself, or if she started when Lauren’s father left her all those years ago. The nostalgic part of Lauren’s brain tricks her into thinking she had a better childhood, but she remembers all the screaming and yelling and breaking things. Of course she does, the memories sits in her skin like scars. Yeah, her father leaving messed her mother up, but it messed her up too, her innocence went out the door along with her father. 

She lies down on her narrow bed and squeezes her eyes shut, forces herself to get lost in the song as she ignores the fact that her ears rings in protest at the volume—she doesn’t care, she’d rather go deaf than have to hear her mother’s grunts.

The next morning, she wakes up the way she fell asleep, curled up on herself in a tight ball. She read somewhere that people who slept like that felt unsafe and subconsciously tried to recreate the comforting fetal position in their mother’s womb. Lauren can’t help but think her mother’s womb was never a safe place.

She’s late for school, but it doesn’t matter. She hates going there, she hates her teachers and the flaccid kids who only care about impressing each other, she hates them for complaining about their overcaring mothers, hates watching them being embarrassed by being picked up by their fathers. Those kids wouldn’t know a real problem if it bit them in the ass, and they won’t appreciate what they have until they lose it.

She finds her history report where she left it in the kitchen. It’s wet and falling apart, the big, fat red **D** smudged. Her mother had used it to dry up stains and Lauren almost laughs. She remembers leaving it on the kitchen table in hopes her mother would see it and give a fuck, but this was all the answer she needed.

She ignores the faint sting in her chest, instead focusing on the emptiness in her stomach and starts making scrambled eggs. She’s standing over the stove when she hears heavy, clumsy footsteps coming down the stairs.

A strange man appears in the doorway. He’s a big-boned man with a receding hairline, a dirty wife beater strains over his round tummy, and he reminds Lauren of her mother’s truck-driving boyfriend—this one is rough around the edges too, they always are. 

“Morning,” he grunts with a half-hearted smile, his beady little eyes rake over Lauren’s body and she feels naked under his gaze. She regrets not putting on clothes and coming down in her little top and tiny shorts. 

She ignores him and continues scrambling her eggs.

“Damn, you’re a rude little one, aren’t you?” He huffs and Lauren tenses when he walks into the kitchen.

She relaxes the tiniest bit when he walks past her and opens the fridge. She watches him out of the corner of her eyes as he grabs a carton of milk and slugs straight from the box. Lauren grimaces in disgust. She grabs a plate for her scrambled eggs and turns to walk back to her room.

A heavy hand grabs her arm before she can get away and her heart soars into her throat.

“Hey, now, what’s the rush?” He asks as he pulls her back, “Aren’t you going to share some of that breakfast with me?”

“No,” Lauren keeps her voice steady and tries to tug out of his grip, “You can make your own damn breakfast.”

He clicks his tongue, “You know, I’m going to be around a lot, so you’re going to have to drop that attitude. I demand respect from you.”

Lauren says nothing, because she knows what these men are capable of and most times, it’s best not to talk back. He doesn’t let her go as she’d hoped. Instead, he pulls her closer and he smells like dirt and sweat and alcohol. Lauren swallows down the bile crawling up her throat.

“You’re lot prettier than your mother,” he coos close to her ear. “I bet every man who’s been in this house has wanted you ten times more. I wonder, have you ever let them take a bite?”

The plate of scrambled eggs shatter on the floor as Lauren jerks out of his grip. “Leave me alone!”

“What is going on here!?” Her mother is in the door wrapped in a ratty robe, it’s open so her sickly thin body is visible underneath; eaten away by too many drinks and pills. Wild, unkempt hair surrounds her face and she stares from Lauren to the man with mascara smudged eyes.

“Your daughter is fucking rude, Mariá,” he grunts. “She ignores me, like she thinks she’s better than me.”

Mariá doesn’t even give Lauren a chance to explain before she turns on her. “Lauren! Apologize to David this _minute_!”

Lauren shouldn’t be surprised. It isn’t the first time that her mother takes the side of whatever shitty boyfriend she has over Lauren. 

“I didn’t do anything! He’s one the one who—”

“I won’t hear it,” Mariá snaps, “I want you tell him you’re sorry. You have to treat him right. He’s going to stay with us.”

Lauren’s stomach revolts at that piece of information. The thought of staying under the same room with this creep is nightmare-inducing. She doesn’t say anything, just turns on her heels and escapes to her room. 

She drops by school, only to be slapped in the face with a failed biology paper and her teacher’s tired spiel of ‘you have so much untapped potential, Lauren, if you’d only apply yourself more’. It’s bullshit and it does nothing but make Lauren angry. She skips the last two classes of the school and spends them wandering aimlessly around the mall, then the park, thoughts consumed by how much she hates her mother, her countless of perverted boyfriends, this deadbeat town.

She doesn’t return home until the sun sets and a blanket of blackness covers the sky. It’s as she’s looking up at the sparkling stars that everything appears clear to her. 

She has to get out.

She constructs a quick plan. She has an aunt that always was sweet to Lauren and cared about her, but Mariá drove her away with her insanity. She lives in Arizona and she would doubtlessly help Lauren if she asked. She doesn’t have a dime to her name, but her mother has and David too, probably.

She sneaks back into her room through the window. She hears the sound of the television blaring downstairs, both her mother and David are in the living room. She quickly packs a small bag, then tiptoes into Maria’s bedroom, almost gagging at foul smell in there. In the bottom of the draver, she finds a sock where she knows her mother keeps all her dirty money. She smiles triumphantly when she finds five hundred dollars in there and she takes every last cent—her mother owes her a lot more. David’s wallet is easily located in a pair of discarded jeans on the floor. There’s a few hundred of dollars in there, and Lauren takes all his credit cards too, just because she can and _fuck him_.

She leaves out of the window again, quickly, knowing that if she lingers, if she lets herself think, she’ll chicken out. An hour later, she finds herself on the first bus out of town. It’s going to some town in Alabama, and Lauren isn’t sure how she’s getting to Arizona from there, but she’ll figure it out.

No one in the bus pays her any mind, none of them can tell that she’s a teenage runaway and it eases her anxiety. She puts her headphones on, leans against the window and watches as the town she grew up in fades in the distance. She feels no longing or familiar sentiment for that matter. She’s terrified shitless, but on the other hand, she’s filled with hope at the prospect of a better future.

Lauren is shaken awake by the bus driver, a kind-faced young man who informs her that they’ve reached their end station. Lauren rubs the sleep out of her eyes and looks out of the window wide-eyed. It’s some little town called Bailey town, not much bigger than her home town, but definitely more charming. She descends the empty vehicle, her gaze floating over the trees and the old buildings. There’s a church a few feet from where the bus dropped them off and Lauren’s mind flashes back to when her father used to take her to church. He used to be a relatively religious man, never missing a Sunday and it’s no wonder that he fell out with her sacrilegious mother. It’s just a shame he wasn’t religious enough not to leave his only child in a lion’s den.

She shakes off the memories and starts walking in search of somewhere to eat. She hasn’t eaten anything in the ten hours it took to get here and her stomach aches in protest. It doesn’t take her long to find a little place called _Tick Tock Diner_ with a cheap menu she can afford. While she stands in line, she looks around the diner, appreciating it’s checkered floor and bright, red seats. Half of the guests appears to be travelers, just like her, grabbing a quick bite before they hit the road again.

She catches sight of a young, attractive couple. The boy looks tall, even sitting down, with wispy blonde hair and dark roots, he has his hand thrown around the slim shoulder of a girl with long, black hair. She’s wearing a jean jacket that’s a few sizes too big on her small frame, probably her boyfriend’s and black choker wrapped around her neck. She says something that makes the boy laugh and then he kisses her passionately. Lauren feels embarrassed and looks away. A few moments later, she looks back and the girl is staring directly at her. She smiles and waves at her. Lauren awkwardly smiles back, returning the gesture.

For the rest of the line, Lauren forces herself not to look back even though she can feel the girl’s eyes on her. First when she has placed an order, does she allow her gaze return to the girl.

“Come, sit with us!” The girl calls much to Lauren’s surprise.

Lauren doesn’t move, stumped for a minute, but the girl waves her over enthusiastically. Lauren walks across the diner and cautiously slides into the seat across from them.

“Hi! My name is Camila,” the girl offers her hand, “What’s your name, Green Eyes?”

Lauren blushes at the nickname and takes Camila’s hand, shocked for a moment by how cold it is despite the warm summer weather. “Um, my name is Lauren.”

“Nice to meet you, Lauren,” the guy says with a lazy smirk, “You can call me Kelly.”

“What are you running away from, Lauren?” Camila asks and throws a curious glance at Lauren’s bag. The question is so blunt and unexpected that it leaves Lauren flustered for a moment.

“I’m not running away,” Lauren breathes out.

Camila and Kelly exchange a look. “Yeah right. You’re what, 16? And you obviously just got off the bus on your own.”

“I’m 17,” Lauren replies, feeling an urge to run suddenly. A paranoid part of her is terrified that they’re going to call the cops on her or something and then she’ll be dragged back to her hell home.

“Relax, Green Eyes,” Camila says with a laugh. She takes a sip of her milkshake. “It’s cool. I think we’re all running away from something. Where are you headed?”

Lauren relaxes, but barely so. “Um, Arizona.”

Kelly cocks a brow. “Arizona? Why the hell would you want to go to Arizona.”

Lauren shrugs and looks down, muttering, “I’ve got family there.”

Camila nods. “Do you know where in Arizona?”

“Um yeah. A place called Prescott Valley.”

“And how are you planning on getting there?”

Lauren has no idea. She knows she’s going to run out of money before she reaches her destination, but she’s going to take it day by day and hopefully she’ll magically stumble upon a solution.

When she doesn’t answer, Camila tells her, “We’re going to Los Angeles. Kelly is going to be a rap star.” She gazes up at him adoringly and he dips down, slipping his tongue in her mouth. Lauren awkwardly reverts her gaze. They don’t stop for a whole minute and when they do, it’s only to come up for air.

“I have a mixtape and it’s straight fire,” Kelly grins, eyes bright with pride. “I could slip you one if you’d like.”

“Um, sure,” Lauren replies even though she has zero interest in it, but she doesn’t want to appear rude. She’s relieved when her food arrives, so she has an excuse not to speak. Camila doesn’t stop talking however, telling her that she’s from Miami, Florida and that she wants to become an actress. Lauren can’t help but think it all sounds like nothing but pipe dreams but who is she to shit on someone’s dreams? She wishes she had bigger ambitions, but she’s sure they’ll come naturally once she’s safe and settled.

“We have to go now, baby,” Kelly says to Camila and she nods.

Before they leave, Camila lingers by Lauren and tells her goodbye. “You’re very pretty and there’s some fucked up shits out there, so be careful and take care of yourself, okay?”

Lauren feels touched and she offers her first genuine smile. “I will. Thank you.”

Lauren is still smiling five minutes later, but that smile drastically leaves her face when the waitress drops the bill.

“Wait, I didn’t eat for that much! I just ordered a burger and a drink! That’s like five dollars, not _fifty_!” She complains.

The waitress frowns impatiently. “Well, sweetheart, your friends told me you were paying for everything.”

Lauren blinks confused. “What friends?” Then it clicks. Camila and Kelly. She jumps to her feet, eyes darting outside but there’s not a single sign of them. Her stomach burns with shame at being tricked like that.

“They aren’t my friends. I swear. I don’t even _know_ them,” Lauren protests, but the waitress will have none of it.

“You looked pretty chummy to me. Pay up, sweetie or I’m calling the police.”

Lauren is practically fuming when she walks out of the diner, fifty bucks poorer. It’s her own fault for talking to strangers, she should know that she can’t trust anyone on the road, much less pretty girls with pretty names. God, they must be laughing at her right now wherever they are, and Lauren bitterly wishes that their dreams dives head first in the toilet.

She’s walking down the street with no real direction when a busted up pickup truck pulls up next to her. 

“Hey!”

She looks up at the familiar voice and it’s none other than Camila hanging out of the passenger seat, grinning at her like she didn’t just leave her with their bill. Kelly is in the driver’s seat, smirking at her.

Lauren stops, pointing an accusing finger at her. “ _You_! You ran away from the bill and made me pay for it! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I know, it was shitty as fuck, but don’t worry, we’re making it up to you!”

Lauren glares at her. “What the fuck are you talking about? I want my money back now!”

“We can’t give you the money, but what we can give you is a ride,” Camila says and cocks her head towards the backseats. “Hop in!”

Lauren gapes at her. “What?”

“My baby has a soft spot for damsels in distress,” Kelly informs, “And I have a soft spot for my baby.”

Lauren shakes her head. “No.” And starts walking.

The car follows her. “Don’t be stupid!” Camila calls. “You aren’t going to make it on your own. You’re going to be eaten alive.”

“And I’m safe with you lot? Yeah, right! Leave me alone!” Lauren walks faster but obviously, she can’t outrun a car.

“Yes, there’s a safety in numbers. And we can take you all the way to Utah,” Camila persuades.

Lauren shoots her a suspicious look. “And why would you do that?” There must be something in it for them, there’s no way they would do this out of the goodness of their heart. They are probably planning on stealing all her money and leaving her for death.

“Why not? There’s just something about you.” Lauren glances at Camila and can’t quite decipher the look in her eyes, but all the same it makes her halt.

“Take a leap of faith, Lauren,” Camila says, eyes sparkling mischievously.

Lauren bites down the inside of her cheek, hesitating for a moment before she takes a huge breath and climbs into the backseat.

“Welcome onboard, Green Eyes,” Camila shoots her a bright smile and Kelly gives her an acknowledging look.

As the car speeds down the street recklessly, Lauren can’t help but wonder what she has gotten herself into.


	2. two

Lauren stirs awake to the sound of creaking and long-drawn moans. As she floats between consciousness and dreams, she’s terrified for a hot second that she’s back home and what she’s hearing is her mother and her boyfriend going at it next room. But the more she awakes, the more she realizes that isn’t the case. 

The sounds are too close and the air is balmy on her skin. She cracks an eye open and sees movement a few feet from her through her sleep-addled, blurred vision. It takes several seconds for her eyes to adjust to the darkness and once it does, she sees two figures tangled together so completely that they’ve become one. It takes another several seconds for her foggy brain to register what’s happening.

Camila and Kelly are having sex right next to her.

There’s not much space in the back of Kelly’s pick-up truck where they’re all sleeping tonight, so Lauren is so close, she can see _everything_. They’re both entirely naked, Camila on her hands and knees with Kelly behind her, rocking the car with every thrust forward, knocking soft cries and whimpers from Camila’s lips. He’s grabbing her full hips, his skin so pale, he’s practically glowing in the dark. Camila’s face is hidden behind her hair, but her small breasts are visible, bouncing along with every movement.

Lauren doesn’t know what to do with herself, and she’s unable to look away. She’s fascinated. Lauren has always linked sex to something dirty and nasty and shameful—partly thanks to her mother, but what’s she’s witnessing now, confuses her. 

Kelly’s face is a contorted in an expression of unadulterated pleasure, grunts and moans falling from his lips without shame. He leans down and kisses Camila’s shoulder.

“God, you feel so good, baby girl. _So good_.”

“Oh, _yes yes yes_ ,” Camila chants when Kelly starts moving faster, the slap of their skin obscenely loud in the quiet of the night. 

Lauren’s whole body feels hotter than the bottom of a volcano, and she doesn’t know if it’s because the way Camila rocks her hips back to meet Kelly’s thrusts, or the way Kelly pulls in her hair or even how they echo each other’s noise of pleasure.

Neither of them seem concerned that Lauren is sleeping a few feet from them, if anything, they do nothing to go about their business quietly. 

Suddenly, Camila lifts her face and tilts it to the left, staring directly into Lauren’s wide eyes. Lauren freezes, unable to do anything but stare right back, breath caught in the back of her throat.

Camila’s face is so flushed, Lauren can see the bright red in her cheeks, and her eyes are blown darker than the night. Her kiss-bruised lips pull up in a teasing smirk, and Lauren’s face bursts in flames with embarrassment.

Camila doesn’t break eye-contact, and Lauren feels herself unable to look away, feeling trapped in the intensity of Camila’s gaze. Camila arches her back and releases a loud, filthy moan then bites her bottom lip, and Lauren feels a distinct heat spreading between her thighs.  
Kelly grabs Camila’s tits and Camila’s eyes fall shut, allowing Lauren to break free from her spell. Lauren immediately turns her back to them and squeezes her eyes tightly shut, fruitlessly trying to block the noise out. She wishes she had her headphones but they’re in the backseat of the car.

It feels they go on for a hundred of years and all the while, Lauren’s heart beats maniacally in her chest. Just when she thinks she can’t take it anymore, it’s suddenly over with sharp-edged cries that has Lauren trembling. The car creaks under their weight as they rearrange herself and Lauren hears them exchange sweet words and the wet sound of their lips kissing, and then _finally_ their breaths even out.

Lauren doesn’t fall asleep for a long while after that, haunted by a restlessness she doesn’t understand.

 

Lauren might’ve been the last to fall asleep, yet she’s still the first to wake up. Camila and Kelly are fast asleep, cuddled together and obviously still naked. Lauren blushes as she recalls the memories of last night, and she descends the car as soundlessly as possible.

She stretches her arms high above her head, then uses her fingers to comb through her tangled hair as she looks around her surroundings. They’re parked off the road by the woods, and Kelly told her last night that they were in the outskirts of Alabama and that they would be crossing into Mississippi today. The air is tight and hot, and Lauren feels gross, having slept in the same clothes from yesterday. She uses the opportunity while they’re asleep to change into her last set of clean clothes. She wonders if there’s a lake nearby where she can wash her clothes, not that she would dare wander into the woods alone and risk getting lost.

Her phone is out of charge so she hasn’t anything to do other than walk around a bit to stretch her legs. About half an hour later, Kelly wakes up and Lauren pointedly looks away as he pulls on a pair of faded, skinny jeans.

“Morning,” He greets as he hops down from the car. “Have you been awake for long?”

Lauren shakes her head and glances at him as he lights a cigarette. She can’t look him in the eyes after seeing what she saw last night. “No, not really.”

He nods and scratches down his naked tummy. “I could eat a fucking horse. Are you hungry?”

Her stomach has been growling since she woke up, but she plays it off with a shrug. “Sure.”

“We’ll head out in a bit. I just need to take a piss. Care to wake up C while I do?” He doesn’t wait around for a response and disappears off into the woods. 

Lauren swallows and walks to the truck. She peers down at Camila who appears to be far away in dream land.

“Camila,” she says, but the girl doesn’t react, so she calls her name louder a few more times but the response is the same. She’s forced to reach out and lightly shake her shoulder. Camila stirs awake and blinks at her with sleepy eyes.

“Hi,” she says, voice rough and smile soft.

“Good morning,” Lauren replies, surprised by how soft and sweet Camila looks when she’s just waking up. “Kelly says we’re leaving soon.”

Camila stands up and stretches out, unconcerned by the fact that the sheet falls off, pooling by her feet, revealing her nude body. A strangle strangled sound gets caught in Lauren’s throat when she gets an eyeful of, well, _everything_ in broad daylight. She spins around, heart pounding and hears Camila’s breathy chuckle. It occurs to her that Camila must be teasing her.

The car groans as Camila gets off.

“Don’t be so shy, Green Eyes,” Camila says, “I don’t have anything you don’t have.”

Lauren is revealed when she catches Camila putting on clothes out of the corners of her eyes. “It doesn’t mean you have to flash me like that.”

“I’m sorry, you didn’t like it?” 

Lauren glances at her and Camila is wearing some flimsy dress now, clearly without a bra and Lauren finds herself wondering if Camila has even put on underwear.

“W-what?” She stutters. “Why would I like it?”

Camila grins at her as she puts her hair up in a high pony-tail. “It looked like you were enjoying it last night.” She winks and laughs when Lauren’s face goes fifty shades of red. 

“I wasn’t!” Lauren splutters, out-raged. “And why would you even do _that_ right next to me? Are you some kind of exhibitionists or what?”

Camila shrugs. “Don’t get so worked up, Lauren. Sex is beautiful and natural and should be celebrated. You’re such a virgin, aren’t you?”

“That’s none of your damn business!”

Lauren is grateful that Kelly returns at that moment as she doesn’t know how much more she could’ve taken of Camila’s teasing. 

They hit the road not long after, and stop briefly by a tiny bistro where they get something to eat and a chance to brush their teeth at the sinks in the restrooms. 

They’ve been driving for about two hours when Kelly suddenly pulls up to the side of the road, and Lauren who’d been dozing off sits up, looking around with a confused frown. They’re in the middle of nowhere, but then she spots the gas station across the street and she thinks they’re stopping for gas, but that doesn’t explain why they’re stopping where they are.

“Guys, why are we…” She trails off when she sees Camila and Kelly put on matching ski masks and her stomach drops with dead. “What are you doing?”

Camila looks back at her. “We’ll be right back. Stay in the car, alright?”

“Wait, what? What are you doing—Wait!” She shouts when they ignore her and descend the car. She stares in desblief as they hold hands and she gasps when she notices something that looks way too much like a gun in Kelly’s free hand. 

_What the actual fuck._

Camila and Kelly jog towards the gas station and disappears through the door. Lauren is too far away to see what’s happening, but it doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together—ski masks and guns, they’re _robbing_ the fucking store and Lauren is once again forced to come to the realization that she doesn’t know these people and apparently, they’re batshit crazy.

She’s at a loss for what to do. She should get off this car and just leave, hopefully she’d hitch hike another ride, because obviously if she stays with these two, they’re going to get her thrown into jail. She must’ve been panicking for a while, because the next thing she knows, Camila and Kelly are running back to the car.

She just stares, frozen in shock as they hop in. Kelly pulls off his mask and floors the accelerator, and Lauren falls back against the seat as the car roars to life, speeding down the street.

“Oh my God!” Camila squeals as she peels off her mask and scoops out two handful of bills. She lets out a triumphant cry and Kelly laugh a ‘fuck yeah!’ as she smacks a kiss on his cheek. 

Lauren takes a deep breath and then bellows, “ _What the actual fuck!_ ”

Camila turns to look at her. “Calm down, Green eyes, now we have cash enough for the next many weeks!”

“Calm down? Are you freaking kidding me? You just robbed a fucking gas station, what the actual fuck is wrong with you people? Oh my God, we’re going to jail. The cops are coming after us!” Lauren can feel herself hyperventilating and she gasps for air.

“We’ll be long gone before any cops arrive,” Kelly says. “We don’t have to worry about that.”

“There are cameras! They saw you! And the car! They can track down the car!”

“We’ll sell the car and get us another one.”

Lauren buries her fingers in her hair and takes several deep breaths. “You’re criminals…this isn’t right. This isn’t right. Stop the car.”

“What?” Camila exclaims. “We can’t stop now.”

“You have to stop! I don’t want any part of this—”

“Listen,” Camila interrupts sharply. “Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. You haven’t been on the road for long, so you wouldn’t understand. Now, shut the fuck up and be happy that you ended up with us and not in the basement of some pervy, old fucker.”

Lauren laughs hysterically. “Are you serious right now? I should be happy I’m with you guys?”

“Yes,” Camila insists. “You’re so naïve, you don’t even have any idea—”

“You don’t know me,” Lauren protests indignantly.

“Oh, baby, I know enough,” Camila says patronizingly, eyeing her.

Lauren bites down the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying something she’s going to regret. Instead, she puts on her headphones and blasts a song. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, she knows there’s some truth to Camila’s words. Lauren is naïve in a lot of ways, she’s never been outside of her small town and she probably wouldn’t have survived on her own. Still, she’s starting to doubt that she’s going to survive with Camila and Kelly.

If anything, they’re like a sinking boat.


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: dubious consent

Camila has a beautiful voice.

Lauren reaches that conclusion as they sit under the starry night and Camila strums her deft fingers over the strings of a guitar as she croon a Spanish song. They’re somewhere in bumblefuck Mississippi, sitting around a small fire Kelly made.

It’s been a few days since the robbery and they got rid of the car the day after, selling it to a shifty dude with a comically long beard, exchanging it for some battered travesty on life support. Lauren wasn’t particular fond of the pickup truck, but at least they could sleep in the back, now they have to spread their sheets and blankets out on the grass.

At least it’s summer and the air is warm and inviting, she supposes she couldn’t have chosen a better time to run away. Then again, perhaps summer is the only time that teenagers ran away from home, knowing they wouldn’t survive a day out in the colder seasons.

Camila finishes the song, and Lauren claps with a quiet smile while Kelly cheers and hoots and whistles. Camila mocks a bow followed by an endearing giggle.

“You wanna hear a song we did together?” Kelly asks Lauren, looking proud and Lauren shrugs, nodding. It’s not like she has anything better to do.

She’s barely surprised when they start singing about sex and all the ‘bad things’ they want to do to one another. But she must admit that Kelly is just as good at rapping as Camila is at singing. As she watches them, at this point serenading each other, she once again questions her decision to stay with them. The reason is quite simple—fear. She’s afraid to be on her own, she’s heard enough stories about young girls getting snatched off the street and raped or sold into human trafficking. 

Camila and Kelly might be lowly criminals, but they aren’t inherently bad. They’re just doing what they need to survive, and at some level, Lauren gets that, because she has to do the same. She will be parting ways with them soon enough anyways.

“When are you going to tell us your story, Lauren?” Kelly asks a small while later. “We’re travelling together after all and we know next to nothing about you.”

Lauren glances at Camila who’s watching her curiously. “I could say the same thing about you guys,” she replies.

Camila smirks. “Touché.”

“Fair enough,” Kelly says with a short chuckle. “I’m personally from some shit town in Ohio. Grew up in a shitty home with a shitty father and dicked around not doing much in my life. Until this one came along.” He loops his arm around Camila’s shoulder and gazes affectionately at her. “She shows up at this bar I worked at out of nowhere and steals my heart.”

They kiss and Lauren rolls her eyes so hard that it hurts. If there’s one thing she isn’t going to miss when she parts way with them, it’s the constant, over the top PDA. 

“And what about you?” She asks Camila, partly because she wants to make them stop kissing, mostly because she’s curious about Camila’s story. On the first glance, she doesn’t look like the kinda girl who should be out here, much less be with someone like Kelly. There’s a certain refinement to her that Lauren can’t quite place, like she isn’t ripped at the edges like Lauren and Kelly are. 

Camila pulls away from Kelly and shakes her finger at Lauren with a click of her tongue. “Now, now, not so fast! You are going to tell us about yourself, you don’t get two for nothing.”

Lauren supposes that sounded fair enough, and there’s no real reason she’s so secretive about her past other than her having trust issues. 

“My mother is…um she has a lot of problems. She’s an addict and she brings a new man home every month.” Lauren wonders when her mother realized that she was gone, if she even cared, perhaps she was even relieved that the burden was removed. She doesn’t know and she doesn’t care. “I got fed up with it, so I left.”

“And daddy?” Camila asks, peering at her from across the fire.

Lauren glances briefly at her and shrugs. “I don’t know where he is.”

Kelly scoffs. “I’m sorry about that,” he says sincerely. “Deadbeat dads are the cancer of this planet.”

“Amen to that,” Camila says and takes a last swig from her bottle of lukewarm beer.

“And you?” Lauren prompts.

“It’s getting late,” Camila replies and shoots Lauren a cheeky wink. “We should get some sleep.”

Lauren doesn’t push it, knowing that it’s futile. Camila will tell her when she wants to and not a second earlier.

That night, Kelly and Camila starts fucking before Lauren even gets a chance to fall asleep. She gets the urge to yell at them, but suppresses it, instead biting the inside of her cheeks and trying desperately to ignore their grunts and moans and the obscene sound of skin against skin. 

Thankfully, she has her back against them, so at least she doesn’t have to watch them. The way Camila’s moans are loud and almost theatrical makes Lauren think she’s doing it to either irritate Lauren or maybe get her to look at her. Whatever her intentions are, Lauren isn’t taking the bait. 

By some miracle, Lauren manages to fall asleep before they finish. It’s even a more impressive feat considering they’re sleeping outside, the ground hard and unforgiving beneath her. She must be more tired than she thought or maybe she has gotten used to their nightly coupling. 

She gets a good few hours of sleep, but then stirs awake in the middle of the night. She blinks, for a few seconds terrified by the complete darkness, but calmness returns to her as she hears Kelly’s light snoring and Camila’s even breaths.

The next thing she notices is the ache between her thighs. It throbs, strong and persistent like a heartbeat and for a moment, Lauren is confused until the images of the dream she’d been awoken from flashes before her. She remembers Camila—dream Camila—with her mouth trailing kisses down the valley of her breasts and her fingers between Lauren’s legs.

Lauren is wide awake then as she realizes that she just had a sex dream, and one about Camila nonetheless. Perhaps she shouldn’t be as startled as she feels, she’s always known she liked girls and Camila is a very pretty girl. However, she doesn’t remember the last time she’s had a dream like this, if it has ever happened before.

Lauren attempts to chase away the fragments of her dreams and tosses and turns as she chases the sleep that alluded her. She huffs in frustration when she fails and she glances to where Kelly and Camila are soundly asleep a few feet away. She can make out Camila’s face, so subtle and delicate and she remembers the mischievous grin she gave her in her dream just seconds before she closed her mouth around Lauren’s nipple, flickering her tongue over it.

Lauren swallows as she feels herself grow hotter between her legs. Unable to help herself, she curiously dips her hand under the waistband of her slacks and touches herself. She’s shocked to find the slick gathered there, warm and sticky. 

Lauren might be seventeen years old, but she’s never touched herself—not _really_. Her mother, among other things, made anything sex-related repulsive to her. 

She starts out slow, experimentally rubbing over her vagina, feeling a thrill every time she touches her clit. She uses a few minutes, playing around with her folds, but quickly discovers it isn’t enough to satisfy her. She cautiously slides a finger inside of herself, it’s tight and hot and she trembles for every inch that disappears inside. Once it’s all the way in, she pumps it, slow and steady.

She closes her eyes and immediately, she sees Camila, her wicked smile and sinful tongue. She doesn’t fight it this time, let them wash over her as she spreads her knees wider and thrusts her finger a bit faster. She enjoys the pinpricks of pleasure burning her skin and she daringly adds another finger, her mouth falling open in a quiet, almost silent moan.

When she adds the third finger, she’s so wet, she can hear the sound of it as she fucks herself. She thinks of Camila, the way her face twists in pleasure or the tantalizing way her small breasts bounce or her tiny waist and full hips. Lauren uses her thumb to rub her clit as she imagines what it would be like if it was Camila doing this to her. 

She reaches her peak and bites her bottom lip to bloods to keep down the cries that threaten to fall out and wake up her travelling companions. Once it’s over, she lies there and stares at the black sky, panting hard. For the first time in a long time, she doesn’t feel frustrated, her limbs feel loose and warm. The feeling doesn’t last long, when she comes down, she’s hit with shame that makes her cheek flush.

She glances at Camila’s unknowing, sleeping face and wonders how creeped out she would be if she knew what Lauren had been doing right next to her. She consoles herself that it’s harmless and innocent and it’s her own, little secret. Once the shame and guilt fades away, sleep takes its place, sweeping her away to a deep slumber.

 

Jackson, Mississipi. It’s the first real city they make a stop at, and Lauren finds it’s a breath of fresh air from the dull towns and boring villages. Lauren is enchanted by the tall buildings, the diverse and colorful people and the charm in the air, so she doesn’t even protest when Camila and Kelly says they’ll stay for a couple of nights.

They rent one room with two beds in a decent motel in the outskirt of the city. Lauren immediately throws herself on one of the bed, sighing deeply as she feels the soft sheets beneath her—it’s been far too long since she’s slept in a real bed.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Camila tells her as she throws her bag on the other bed. “We’re going out tonight!”

Lauren glances at her warily. “I’d rather stay inside.” The thought of having some space and time for herself has never been more appealing.

“Did I say you had a choice? It’ll be fun. I promise.”

Lauren protests, but Camila is stubborn and she wears Lauren down until Lauren feels like it’s easier to just go along with it.

“Can I do your makeup?” Camila asks eagerly while Kelly is in the showers. “Please, you have the prettiest eyes, a little eyeliner would go a long way.”

Lauren has never put on a drop of makeup on—another thing her mother ruined for her—but Camila looks so hopeful that she just sighs. Camila squeals and jumps up and down in excitement and Lauren is unwillingly endeared.

She crawls onto Lauren’s bed clutching her makeup bag. She startles Lauren by grabbing her chin and tilting her face up. Lauren feels uneasy, being this close to Camila, so close that she can smell her sweet perfume and the fruit shampoo in her hair.

It doesn’t help that Camila is contemplatively gazing into her eyes.

“Did you know that you have the universe in your eyes?” she asks suddenly, awe tinting her voice. 

Lauren blinks. “What?” She’s never heard something so odd, yet beautiful before.

Camila smiles. “Your eyes look like the universe up close. It’s green with flecks of blue and gold. They’re gorgeous.”

Lauren can feel her cheeks pink. “Um, thank you,” she says awkwardly.

Camila just smiles wider and searches through her bag, retrieving a black pencil. She grabs her chin again and orders her to stand still, “I wouldn’t want to poke out your pretty eyes.”

Lauren obliges as Camila applies the eyeliner along her upper lashes, then on her waterline. She follows it up with a few strokes of mascara, then studies her work.

“Wow. I was right. It really brought out your eyes.”

“Can I see?”

“Not yet. I’m going to put on some lipstick and I’ve got just the right color.” She fishes out a bloody red lipstick from her bag, and Lauren is worried it’ll clash with her pale skin.

“Give me a pout, Green eyes,” Camila urges and Lauren rolls her eyes, but sticks her lips out nonetheless.

“You’re a natural beauty, Lauren!” Camila declares once she’s done, just as Kelly exits the bathroom with a towel wrapped low on his hips. “Isn’t she beautiful, baby?”

Kelly looks at her and Lauren feels embarrassed by all the attention focused on her. Kelly’s eyes linger on her and he looks pleased.

“Is that a trick question?” He asks Camila, who laughs.

“Yes, don’t answer that,” she jokes.

 

They find a nice little bar downtown, and Camila squeals in delight when they discover it’s equipped with karaoke. They find an available table somewhere in the middle, and Kelly goes to the bar to get them drinks.

“That’s awful,” Camila says with a soft snicker. She’s talking about the middle-aged man on stage, who’s singing along to an old country song, or perhaps singing is a generous term—he’s more accurately slurring.

Lauren studies him with mild interest. “He looks dead inside.”

Camila laughs louder. “Sounds like it too. Do you sing, Lauren?”

A brief memory of her childhood when she used to sing for her father flashes before her mind, and she frowns. “No.”

“Really?” Camila cocks a brow. “I don’t know why, but you look like a singer. You look like you’d have a sexy rasp.”

Lauren snorts. “If you think I’m going up there and embarrassing myself, then you’re delusional.”

Camila pouts. “Aw, you’re no fun at all, Lauren.”

Kelly returns with their drinks, and Lauren honestly doesn’t know what he got them. She doesn’t care, because she isn’t planning on drinking—yes, her mother’s impact, you guessed it—but she doesn’t want to hear it from neither Kelly nor Camila, so she takes tiny sips to pretend she’s into it.

Despite Lauren’s expectations, the evening turns out to be quite enjoyable. It doesn’t take long for Camila and Kelly to be three drinks in and with the warm liquor running in their veins, flushing their cheeks, they become more loose and obnoxious, but funny. They talk about nothing—or Kelly and Camila talk, mostly Camila—and they tell Lauren about some of the weird things they’ve experienced on the road, and Lauren is entertained.

Lauren sees how Camila steadily go from tipsy to lightly drunk and uses the opportunity to ask, “So, what happened to your family?”

 

“You’re trying to be sneaky, Green eyes,” Camila says and flashes her grin, leaning in to pinch the bridge of Lauren’s nose. “You’re really curious about me, aren’t you? Do you spend a lot of time thinking about me?”

Lauren recalls the past few nights she used with her hands down the waistband of her pants and Camila’s face in her mind, and her face flushes bright red before she has a chance to control it.

Of course, both Camila and Kelly notice.

“Ohhh! Look at her! She’s redder than a fucking fire truck!” Kelly cackles. “You’re too easy to tease, Lauren.”

“Shut up,” Lauren mutters, glancing warily at Camila and she doesn’t like the way Camila’s studying her with interest glimmering in her eyes.

Thankfully, the attention is diverted from her when the guy, braying like a goat on stage, falls flat on his face without warning.

“Someone can’t hold their liquor!” Someone shuts from the back and the bar erupts in laughter. 

The guy’s friend drags the poor fucker off the stage, shaking his head with a roll of her eyes and Lauren gets the impression that it’s a regular occurrence.

“I want to sing!” Camila exclaims suddenly and she doesn’t wait for a reaction or response, before she bounces on stage and picks a song. Then she grabs the mic and looks over the crowd. “Hi, everyone!”

She receives cheers and hoots in return, and Lauren hears someone shout _’hey pretty baby’_ and by the deep scowl on Kelly’s face as he looks around to presumably locate whoever said that, he heard it too.

The song starts to play and it’s _“Toxic”_ by Britney Spears. Camila starts singing and moving her body to the beat, and Lauren doesn’t know what she was expecting but she wasn’t expecting _that_. Camila is far from shy on the stage as she sways her hips and flips her hair this way and that way. She drags her hand down her body with a cheeky little smile, and she knows exactly what she’s doing—the whole room is captivated and Lauren can’t look away even if she wanted to. 

She struts forward and starts singing a line to a random guy, then walks across the stage to serenade to another guy—and it’s so obvious she’s got them on the hook, they’re eating it up. Camila is nothing less than a performer, and Lauren doesn’t doubt that she belongs on that stage. She brings the whole room to life.

The crowd goes wild when she turns and give a little shake of her bubbly ass wrapped in her tight, little dress. She dedicates the last bit of the song to Kelly and Lauren is surprised by the stiff smile on his face and the way he’s white-knuckling his glass of beer. 

Once the song is over Camila bows with a big smile to the sound of applause, cheers and a fair amount of wolf whistles. She doesn’t return directly to the table, instead she walks around and chats with random people.

Lauren glances at Kelly and the bitter look on his face, cautiously asking, “You okay?”

“Fine,” he spits through gritted and takes a long swig from his drink, narrowed eyes on Camila who’s standing with a bunch of college kids.

He’s not fine. He explodes the second Camila returns to the table.

“What the fuck was that?” He snaps.

Camila looks genuinely confused. “What was what?”

“Why were you prancing around the stage and shaking your ass at every fucking guy in this place?” Kelly’s voice escalates in volume with every word, his cheeks bright red with anger. 

Camila’s eyes flashes. “I was dancing. Calm the fuck down.”

“You were acting like a slut!” Kelly yells and draws an offended gasp from Camila, gathering the attention of a few, close tables who all turn to stare.

“Don’t call me that, you asshole!” She yells back.

“Take your drama somewhere else, man!” A guy from the table over shouts at them, and Kelly turns on him with a murderous glare.

“Shut the fuck up!” He turns back on Camila and grabs her arm, pulling her closer. “Do you enjoy being such an attention whore everywhere we go, am I not enough for you or what?”

Camila struggles against him. “You’re being ridiculous! I can do whatever the fuck I want!”

Lauren startles when Kelly raises his hand and smacks Camila on the cheek with no warning. Camila clutches her stinging pink cheek and for a moment, she looks in disbelief, then her eyes darkens and she shoves Kelly away from her.

“Fuck you!” She shouts and storms off.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

Lauren watches them wide-eyed as they disappear through the back of the club. She’s shocked by what just transpired in front of her as she never expected for Kelly to actually lay his hand on Camila—the guy fucking worships the ground she walks on and for the week that she’s been travelling with them, he’s treated her like nothing less than a queen. But then again, Lauren is reminded that she doesn’t really know these people and what they’re capable of. Kelly transformed into someone different, someone that reminded Lauren about her mother’s countless of abusive boyfriend.

Lauren sits there for a couple of minutes, then remembers that she doesn’t know how to get back to the motel from here. She gets to her feet, but before she can leave, the bartender stops her and tells her she has to pay for their tap.

 _Un-fucking-believable_.

 

She finds them in the back alley of the club, still screaming and fighting each other. Lauren doesn’t know if it’s her place to intervene or if she should just go and wait by the car. 

She watches as Camila lands a barrage of angry punches on Kelly’s chest until Kelly grabs her wrists and pins her against the wall. He kisses her aggressively, knocking her head against the wall. She fights against it, managing to get free and slaps him across the cheek. Kelly returns the favor, hitting her so hard that she stumbles back against the wall.

Lauren stands stock still, not breathing, heart pounding as Kelly turns Camila’s body, pressing her front against the wall. He then proceeds to open the front of his jeans and despite Camila’s protests, he flips her dress up and Camila’s body jolts when he pushes against her.

Lauren doesn’t even realize she’s trembling as she watches the scene unfold before her. Kelly moves in quick, hard jabs, cracking Camila against the wall every time and Lauren can’t see Camila’s face but she noticed that she has stopped struggling.

The scene awakens memories locked away in the deepest, darkest crevices of her mind, and she feels her stomach turn and her breath get caught in her lungs.

She turns on her heels and makes a hasty escape.

 

It’s past midnight when Lauren makes it back to the motel. She’d spent most of the night wandering around and it’s a miracle she found her way back. She pauses when she catches Kelly sitting outside their room against the wall with a half-empty beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Lauren’s first instinct is to walk the opposite direction but he sees her before she has the chance.

“Hey!” He calls and she bites the inside of her cheek and spins, giving him a half-hearted wave. He studies her with red-rimmed eyes and he looks drunk and miserable. “Where’d you disappear off to?”

“Um, just…took a walk around the city.” She shrugs.

He doesn’t look convinced but nods nonetheless. “Camila locked me out,” he tells her. “But she’d probably open the door for you.”

Lauren doesn’t say anything. She walks to the door but before she can knock, Kelly grabs her jacket and it takes all of her willpower not to flinch. She glances down at him and is surprised by the pleading look he gives her.

“Do you mind sitting with me for a minute?” He asks and there’s nothing Lauren would like to do less. Despite that, she takes a deep breath and sinks down to the floor, on the other side of the door.

“You want some?” He asks, holding out the bottle. She shakes her head. “No? What about a cigarette?”

“No thank you,” she replies and wonders what he wants from her.

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Kelly goes from sucking on his bottle to sucking on his cigarette while Lauren stares straight-ahead.

“When I was growing up, we had this garage,” Kelly speaks and Lauren glances at him. “It really wasn’t a garage, it was falling apart and you couldn’t put a car in there. I hated that fucking garage. My father would use it to beat me and my brothers in there.” Kelly’s eyes grow distant as he recalls the memories of his childhood. “No matter where we were, he would drag us out there and wraps his belt around his hand and crack it down on us until we were bleeding. It was like his little torture chamber or something.”

Kelly emits an empty laugh and Lauren is at a loss of what to say so she stays quiet.

 

“But when he beat my mother, he wouldn’t drag her into the garage.” Kelly’s lips twist in an unpleasant sneer. “He would just hit her wherever she was, mostly in the kitchen. She was almost always in the kitchen, because according to my father, that’s where a respectable woman belonged. He once beat her so bad that she just laid there unconscious and I was convinced she was dead.”

Kelly’s eyes are glassy and for a moment, Lauren thinks he’s going to cry. Then he blinks rapidly and the tears are gone.

“She never did anything about it. Not when he was beating us. Not when he was beating her. She would cover the blue marks on her skin with make-up… but some things you can’t cover up.”

He turns his back to Lauren and lifts his shirt. Lauren’s breath catches in her throat when she sees the scars marring his pale skin—they might’ve healed physically but Lauren knew they were still sitting fresh mentally. Kelly resumes his position and lights another cigarette.

“I hated him. I vowed I would never be like him. I _love_ Camila. I would fucking die for her, but she drives me _crazy_.” He taps his temple repeatedly. “She makes me so mad. When she does shit like she did tonight, she makes me feel like dirt, underappreciated.”

“I don’t want to lose her. I would rather die than lose her. She’s my baby, you know? We’re ride and die. I just wish she wouldn’t make me punish her.”

Lauren has nothing to say to that, not after what she witnessed earlier this evening. Kelly leans in and peers into her soul with his bloodshot eyes.

“You understand that, don’t you, Lauren?”

Lauren swallows. The truth of the matter is that she _doesn’t_. Kelly sounds like he’s blaming Camila for hitting her and not his temperament he inherited from the father he loathes so much. A small part of her feel sympathetic, because she knows what it’s like to have an abusive parent and how they leave marks on you like smudges on glass—sometimes it isn’t just smudges, but they drop the whole glass and you cans still see the cracks no matter how hard you try to mend it. But what she saw Kelly do tonight is unforgiveable, she’s known men like him her whole life—men that feels entitled to women.

The silence stretches on awkwardly and Kelly must’ve forgotten he asked a question, because now he’s just staring at Lauren in a way that makes her increasingly uncomfortable.

“Camila is right,” he says and he’s close enough that Lauren can smell the alcohol on his breath. “You’re really beautiful.”

He touches her cheek with cold fingertips and she flinches away. She raises to her feet, heart rattling in her ribcages.

“I’m tired,” She mutters and knocks hard on the door. “I should get some sleep.”

“If she doesn’t open, I can rent a room for us.”

It doesn’t sound appealing and Lauren releases a breath of relief when the door swings open. Camila appears in the door, clad in tiny shorts and crop top.

“Hi, baby girl, I’m sorry,” Kelly slurs and reaches for her.

Camila silences him with a withering glare, pulls Lauren inside and locks the door again. Lauren watches Camila crawl back into bed.

“Are you…are you alright?” Lauren asks softly.

Camila glances at her. She doesn’t respond, instead she gestures for Lauren to come lay next to her. Lauren is taken aback by the request and doesn’t move.

“Come on,” Camila urges. “Get out of your clothes and come hold me.”

It sounds simultaneously dirty and too intimate. Camila’s eyes are Bambi wide and pleading and Lauren finds herself shedding her jack along with her shoes. She moves slowly, the bed dipping under her weight as she takes a seat at the edge.

“Don’t be shy,” Camila tells her softly. “You can’t sleep in jeans.”

Lauren hesitates then slips out of her jeans leaving her in her t-shirt and underwear. She lies down on the bed on her back, staring up at the wall. She can feel Camila looking at her and she doesn’t want to turn her face to meet her gaze, already feeling out of depths as it is.

“Hey,” Camila calls quietly and Lauren forces herself to look at her. “Be my big spoon?”

“Um,” Lauren blinks, “Okay?”

Camila smiles and turns her back on Lauren. Lauren hesitantly shuffles closer until her body is almost touching Camila’s and puts an arm around her. To her surprise, Camila moves back so they’re touching each other and Lauren sucks in a deep breath at the proximity of their bodies.

“Goodnight, Green eyes,” Camila says.

“Goodnight, Camila,” Lauren whispers back.


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been a couple months since i last updated and hopefully the updates will be more frequent from now on. i hope you enjoy this chapter

Four.

Lauren’s mother has been through a long-string of boyfriends, each one of them seemingly pulled from the bottom of a dumpster. They all shared the same unfortunate qualities, one of the most prominent being their violent and abusive streaks. Every single one of them always laid their hands on her mother and sometimes, even Lauren, but her mother never learned. It was as if she was a masochist who enjoyed being treated like dirt, because no matter how badly they treated her or how many bruises they left on her body, she always forgave them. 

Intellectually, Lauren knows that it’s trauma in her mother’s life that has made her think she deserves the poorest imitation of love—she accepts the love she thinks she deserves. And truly, Lauren feels pity for the woman who birthed her, but her resentment for her was even stronger. It was one thing for her mother to be willingly treated like a human doormat, but for her mother to be compliant with these men disrespecting her daughter is what angered Lauren.

Kelly reminds Lauren of her mother’s boyfriend—just a younger, more handsome version. He’s on the road to becoming exactly like them—man chauvinistic assholes with so little content in their life that the only time they feel any semblance of control is when they’re controlling a woman. A lot of the men Lauren has encountered probably started out like Kelly with an abusive father and a submissive mother, and they swore to themselves they’d never be like their parents but in a lot of cases, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

It's a fact that terrifies Lauren—what if no matter how hard she works against becoming like her mother it’s her fate? She will end up with a man, or woman, who will see all the cracks inside of her and instead of mending them, they will break her into even smaller pieces.

Did Camila have an abused mother or abusive father or both, Lauren wonders. It would explain why she forgave Kelly even though he hit her and raped her in the back of an alley. It took less than a day of Kelly groveling at her feet for Camila to take him back, ultimately reminding Lauren of her mother.

Was Lauren’s mother young and beautiful like Camila once until she let a man take away the best years of her life? 

She doesn’t know, all she knows is that even though Camila has forgiven Kelly, Lauren hasn’t. Now that she has seen what he’s capable of, he scares her and she doesn’t trust him. She keeps her distance from him, flinching every time he makes an unpredictable movement, even something as harmless as stretching wounds her body tighter than a bow. 

She doesn’t like the way he looks at her sometimes. Like that one time she stepped out of the tiny bathroom of a scrappy motel room in nothing but a towel, expecting Camila and Kelly to be out. Except Kelly had come back to retrieve his wallet and seen her half-naked and dripping water on the carpet. Instead of looking away his eyes had travelled over her fame with an unsettling look in her eyes.

“You’re the definition of jail-bait,” he’d told her and laughed as if it was a joke. He was oblivious to how terrified Lauren looked.

Or that one time they were sleeping in the hay loft of an unsuspecting farmer’s barn, somewhere close to the border between Arkansas and Mississippi. Lauren had been wide awake while they were having sex right next to her, uncomfortable in every bone of her body. Once they were done and asleep, she had shifted around to find a more comfortable position and Kelly spoke, startling her.

“You still awake.”

Lauren says nothing in hope that he will go back to sleep. She isn’t lucky in that aspect.

“I know you’re awake.”

His voice is hoarse and Lauren hears the flicker of a lighter right before its fire casts long, eerie shadows around the barn. Lauren has her back to him and it makes her feel vulnerable. The fire disappears quickly and harsh cigarette smoke mixes with the smell of fresh hay. 

“Tell me,” Kelly asks nonchalantly, “Do you get off on listening to us fuck?”

Lauren’s face flushes with embarrassment and she shifts in discomfort. She’s hit with paranoia—what if Kelly knew she was semi-regularly getting off thinking about his girlfriend? Would he get possessive and violent against her?

“It’s okay, you know,” Kelly assures her as if he reads her thoughts. “It’s normal. You’re young and we’re pretty fucking hot.” He laughs quietly and Lauren grimaces.

There’s a few moments of silence, and Lauren can literally hear the soft chirping of the crickets through the open window. 

She hears Kelly move and every muscle in her body tenses.

“You know,” he drawls and his voice is unnervingly closer now. Lauren’s curls her fists so tight, her knuckles turn white. “If you ever want to join in on the fun—then you’re welcome to. Camila wouldn’t mind. We’ve done it before with other girls. None of them were as beautiful as you though.”

Lauren is shocked by the offer and the casual way it’s presented. She would never do anything of that nature with Kelly, but the knowledge that Camila has done it with girls before opens a furnace of warmth in her belly.

She thinks of the other night when she accidently got eye-contact with Camila while she was having sex with Kelly. Camila had been staring at her with a look that trapped Lauren and gave her no room for looking away. It wasn’t the usual mischief and playfulness in her eyes, but something haunting as if she was asking Lauren to save her. It might be something Lauren is imagining, but surely she isn’t imagining how fake her moans sound. 

She’s brought out her thoughts by a hand touching her hair.

Her reaction is instant. She recoils as if burned and jumps to her feet.

“Whoa, relax,” Kelly says, raising his hands. Next to him, Camila is sound asleep. “You’re so weird.”

Lauren’s jaw clenches. “I need fresh air,” she whispers and leaves.

After that incident, Lauren has a very hard time falling asleep next to Kelly and she’s counting down the days until she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. Of course, that always means counting down the days until she will part ways with Camila and despite herself, she has grown fond of the girl and leaving her alone with Kelly worries her to great extends. She catches herself fantasizing if perhaps, Camila would give up the glossy pipe-dream of stardom in Los Angeles in favor of a quiet, but sweet life in the suburbs of Arizona. 

It’s unlikely. Camila shines brighter than the stars in the night sky and her potential is too large to be squandered by the lackluster life of the suburbs. She shines brighter than Kelly too. He leeches off her, and Lauren worries he’ll eventually suck her dry of life and leave her a pitiful husk of who she used to be.

Then again, she has only known these people for a few weeks. It’s hardly any of her business.

But sometimes Camila makes her believe it _is_.

Like when it’s just the two of them in the laundromat of a town with a name Lauren doesn’t bother to remember, feeding the machines coins that Camila lifted off of grubby old man— _payment for staring at my ass_ , she says when Lauren watches her warily—and they’re sitting together on top of a wonky table watching the washing machine spin round and round dizzyingly fast.

Camila gets bored and she puts on that one Spanish song with the sultry beat and catchy chorus that has taken this summer by storm. She jumps off the table and pulls Lauren with her.

“Let’s _dance_!” 

Lauren can’t dance, doesn’t have that natural rhythm in her hips like Camila does, but she’s willing to make a fool of herself if it makes Camila smile.

So they dance to Spanish crooning and the obnoxious whirring of the washing machines in the background. They look silly and when grumpy, 20 something year old girl enters and stare at them bewildered, they collapse in laughter.

It feels good. 

Lauren feels young again.

“I know we don’t really know each other, but I’m happy I met you,” Camila tells her, voice soft and gentle, eyes crinkled in the corners and she’s standing so close, Lauren can feel the warmth of her body and the flowery perfume on her skin.

Her heart pounds and she smiles. “Me too.”

She might be reading into it, but she believes Camila sees her as a friend. Lauren’s isn’t sure what it entails since she’s never had a single, real friend in her life. She’d been too ashamed of her home situation to let anyone get too close. One thing she knows is that friends are supposed to look out for each other and Kelly is dangerous. Camila needs to get as far away from him as possible.

That belief is further solidified when they end up at a music festival in the outskirts New Orleans. Or, it isn’t as much a musical festival as it’s obscure bands playing in a large tent with intense light works and booming speakers that makes Lauren feel dizzy and slightly disorientated within seconds.

She’s allowed Camila to use her as a canvas again and paint on her with vivid and glimmering make-up—that Lauren is pretty sure she saw her lift from a make-up store a few towns back. Camila is skilled enhancing their understated attributes, and when Lauren looked in the mirror with her scarlet lips, long lashes, her cheekbones glimmering with highlighter, she felt confident.

But she doesn’t use as much time staring at herself, as she uses staring at Camila.

Camila is always beautiful, but tonight as she dances under the flashing lights and sings along to the songs, she looks magical. 

She has slipped into a tiny pair of jean shorts, a fringed crop top and a simple, cute flower crown atop her ultra-straightened hair that falls all the way to her ass.

She looks like a Latina dreamgirl. 

Lauren’s dreamgirl.

But, unfortunately, Kelly’s as well.

He appears behind Camila and wraps his arms around her slim waist. She tilts her head back and smiles, eyes fluttering shut when he plants a kiss on her lips. Lauren immediately turns on her heels and walks away. She is already forced to listen to them fucking next to her every single night, she refuses to watch their PDA during the day as well.

She pushes through the sweaty, writhing young bodies and almost feels dizzy with the amount of hormones permeating the air. The crowd has rapidly been growing wilder and wilder, and Lauren supposes the thick smell of alcohol has something to do with it.

Kelly offered her a drink earlier, but she quickly declined. He thought she was uptight, but she didn’t care. She has seen how alcohol has ruined her mother, and besides, she doesn’t trust Kelly. She won’t put it past him to slip something in her drink. Perhaps, she shouldn’t have left Camila alone with him.

She finds a somewhat vacant space in the back of the tent where people aren’t pressed together like sardines in a can and she breathes a much needed sigh of relief. She instinctively wraps her arms around herself and observes the crowd. There are more than a few couples who are fervently making out, and a few feet away she sees a couple of girls slip pills in their mouths and chase it down with alcohol.

She fights the urge to go home and sleep. She feels awkward and doesn’t know what to do. She’s never been to parties, so she has no idea how to have fun, especially now that she’s on her own. She closes her eyes and ignores the girl screeching at her friend next to her and pretends she’s alone. Just her and the music. Slowly, but surely, she moves her body to the beat of the music. She isn’t self-conscious and starts having fun when she imagines there’s no one else in the world but her.

She’s starting to feel herself, hands running through her messy hair, down her body. She feels good in her skin, a rare feeling that she clings to desperately.

“Hi baby girl! Are you alone here?” A manly voice breaks into her imaginary bubble and the moment is forever ruined. She smacks away the wandering hands and walks away without sparing the man a single glance. 

She mutters inaudible excuses as she elbows her way through the crowd as it gets thicker the closer to the stage she moves. She’s looking for Camila, but she ends finding Kelly instead.

At first, she thinks it’s Camila’s mouth he’s tongue is exploring, but this girl is taller than Camila and her hair has streaks of rainbow colors. 

Lauren is shocked, but not surprised. Her mother’s men used to cheat on her regularly, and it’s just another trash quality of dumpster men. She stares at the scene in front of her, the way Kelly’s hand travels down the girl’s side and grabs her ass, and she feels sick.

She’s about to walk away but then Kelly looks up and spots her.

Her heart pounds and she turns and pushes her way back through the crowd. She hasn’t gotten far when a hand circles around her arm in a vice grip that instantly roots her to the spot. 

“You can’t tell her.”

He’s close enough that she hears his voice over the noise without difficulty and he smells of cigarette smoke and alcohol, his eyes slightly red as he stares her down. His grip is so hard that it’s doubtlessly going to leave a bruise and even though they’re surrounded by people on all sides, Lauren’s heartbeat won’t calm down. She breathes shallowly through her mouth and stares back at him wordlessly. 

His hot breath falls on her face as he hisses, “Don’t forget what I’ve done for you. You’d be raped and beaten and sold if it weren’t for us. Don’t be an ungrateful bitch, Lauren.”

Lauren jerks out of his hold and disappears through the crowd before he can grab again. His words had been poisonous and threatening, and she considers the option of going back to the motel and packing up her things. She doesn’t want to wait around to find out how bad this can turn out.

Suddenly there’s a hand on her wrist and she tears herself free so fast that she almost stumbles and lands flat on her face.

It isn’t Kelly that has followed her, but Camila.

Camila who has this oddly dazed expression on her face and she reaches for Lauren, curling her fingers in Lauren’s shirt.

“You alright?” She doesn’t hear it but she reads the words off her lips, and she nods, even though her heart is still rattling in her ribcage.

Camila’s soft pink lips tilt up in a smile and she leans close and says, “I’ve got something for you.” It takes a moment for Lauren to notice the tiny, pink pill she’s holding between her fingers.

“It’s going to make you feel so good.” Judging from her dopey expression, it’s obvious that Camila has already popped one. 

He whistles when he enters the room and sees them. “Everyone is going to be jealous that I’m arriving with the hottest girls in town.” 

Lauren is about to decline, but then Camila places the small pill on the tip of her tongue and Lauren freezes. Camila watches her intently with blown pupils and curls her hand at the back of Lauren’s neck. Lauren doesn’t breathe, doesn’t move and her eyes flutter close when Camila presses their lips together. Her body instantly goes soft and she pliantly opens her mouth so Camila can slip her tongue in her mouth. 

It’s like a current of electricity charges through her veins and the tiny pill easily slides down her throat. 

Camila doesn’t stop kissing her and the fear that Kelly might stumble onto them get lost somewhere in the back of her mind. 

It’s better than Lauren’s wildest fantasies combined and the tingly warm feeling that spreads to every corner and crevice of her body reveals that she doesn’t need a drug to feel fuzzy and light headed—Camila’s kisses are enough.

It isn’t her first kiss and this isn’t how she imagined it. 

It’s better. 

When they part Camila smiles at her stunned face and she starts saying something but is interrupted by some guy accidently knocking into her and sending her stumbling into Lauren’s arms. Lauren blushes when she feels Camila’s soft curves pressed into her and she misses her warmth when Camila straightens.

Camila laughs and there’s crinkles by the corner of her eyes and Lauren wonders if the pleasant shiver down her spine is the pill starting its affect.

Camila takes intertwines their hands and throws them in the air with a joyful cheer, and it’s so infectious, Lauren can’t help but join her laughing and jumping up and down to the music.

It only takes fifteen minutes for Lauren to feel the effect of whatever Camila gave her. Every drop of self-consciousness fades away against the strobe lights and the warmth of Camila’s hand in hers. Her body feels loose and three and her face hurts from how much she’s laughing.

Within the next minutes, everything around her is sharp and wonderful and so, so _colorful_. All the shady, dark and broken edges of the world falls away and leaves behind a golden, glittery atmosphere. And Camila is so breathtakingly beautiful with her pink lips and pinker cheeks, and Lauren submits to the powerful urge and kisses her.

Camila laughs into it, cradles Lauren’s chin and deepens the kiss until Lauren is so hot, she feels like she might implode any second. 

The obnoxious music she hadn’t been particularly fond of earlier suddenly sounds like a second heartbeat that demands movements from her body. Camila is standing close with her arms linked around Lauren’s neck and their hips flushed together as their bodies move in perfect synch. 

Lauren hasn’t felt this carefree or happy since _ever_. It’s a feeling she never wants to stop, just like she doesn’t want Camila curious fingers to stop touching her, stroking down her face, her neck, her shoulders, coming to a rest above her left breast just above where her heart is beating harder than the music.

Half an hour later and the gentle wind caresses her flushed face as Camila pushes her against a parked van outside the tent and slips her hand underneath the front of Lauren’s jeans.

She gasps when Camila’s slender fingers effortlessly slides into her wet cunt. They curls inside of her and pumps in and out in a quick, urgent manner that has Lauren’s head falling back against the van and her eyes falling shut. 

Camila giggles, a sound so simultaneously innocent and intoxicating and kisses her bared neck, “Do you like that Green Eyes?”

Lauren smiles, unashamed and open, kudos to the drugs. “Yes,” she says with a breathy moan and curls her hips. 

She opens her eyes and looks at Camila and she doesn’t know if it’s the drug pumping in her blood or the way the lights hit Camila, but she’s glowing brighter than the stars hanging in the pitch black sky.

“You’re so beautiful.” The words rush from her mouth in one breath and her heart stutters when Camila graces her with the brightest smile.

“So are you.” 

Lauren thinks she hears a couple having loud sex not far from where they are but she barely registers them. It’s just her and Camila and her ascend to the stars. She climbs so high, drunk on the drug and Camila’s lips until the tension in her tummy finally snaps.

Camila laughs against her lips, and she’s finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you enjoy where this story is going? let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think 
> 
> all the love x


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